The Hill To Die On

First I would like to update everyone on why I have been MIA for a bit. This particular season of life has been difficult and busy for me. I decided to go back to college and get my degree in Biblical theology which I am excited to be working on, but it has definitely added a level of complexity to my life. I am also homeschooling my older three children which is both rewarding and exhausting.

My life has been filled with ups and downs, joys and trials. One of the most recent trials has been my dad’s hospitalization with Covid. We honestly did not know if he was going to make it, and he is still receiving alot of oxygen and is in the hospital. God is, however, healing him little by little which is such a wonderful answer to prayer.

I have been leaning on God now more than ever and praying as often as possible as well as reading the Bible. God has given me peace and strength to get through the days. My days have been filled with strength and joy and have also been equally matched with days I do not feel I can handle or accomplish anything on my to-do list, days when I want to crawl under a blanket and stay there for a long time, days when I only have enough emotional energy to stay afloat until it is time to go to bed, days I have not had the emotional strength to take care of others emotions as I have been in a type of survival mode. Can anyone else relate to this?

There seems to be an overwhelming amount of sadness surrounding our day-to-day lives. People are so unhappy with this covid lifestyle, the guidelines, the isolation, the rules, the longevity, the stress- it doesn’t matter where you stand on the efficacy of masks or social distancing or governmental involvement- it has been draining. This strain has melted over into our day-to-day lives and has caused physical and emotional exhaustion.

As a group of people, this whole world has been faced with a crisis and all of us are living in it and processing it differently. On top of the societal and political division between many of us, there have been personal disappointments and losses in people’s lives, deaths of loved ones, family issues, broken marriages, lost jobs and other overwhelming struggles. Only you, the person reading this can know what that struggle has been and how you are emotionally coping with day to day life…I want you to know you are not alone.

Maybe some of you want to give up.

Maybe some of you have already given up.

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.
Psalm 42:11

I wish I could tell you that 2022 is going to be a better year, that you will feel better soon, that things are looking up and tomorrow will be a great day.  I cannot make empty promises like this but what I can promise you is what God tells us:

We will face trials and tribulation, Jesus has overcome the world: I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33

God’s grace is sufficient for us in and through our weakness and we have the power of Christ resting upon us: But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
2 Corinthians 12:9

Jesus is with us always, until the end of the age: Teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
Matthew 28:20

These are some of the verses that have brought me strength and comfort, they are not empty promises but life-sustaining verses when you want to give up. I want us to think about the phrase for a minute ‘The hill to die on’. What is your hill to die on? Is it a political hill, a spiritual hill, a societal hill? Some of us may be able to answer this quickly. We may even have things we are fighting for everyday and making stands on. But I want to back up a little bit more. In order to die on the hill you need to walk up it. You need to face it. You need to travel it. I can’t help but think of Calvary when I think of this phrase. Jesus’ sole purpose as he came to earth, born as a baby, was all leading up to the hill he would die on. He would carry his cross and face the most difficult, gruesome, excruciating torture and torment any of us could fathom facing. Death on a cross is excruciating physically but for Jesus to be separated from a perfect union with the Father to bear the sins of the world was far more painful. To bear the payment for every wrong ever committed from those who would put their faith in him- murder, theft, adultery, lies, anger, covetousness, sin upon sin upon sin place on his shoulders. Jesus faced the hill, he walked up the hill, he died on the hill. His perfect life for our evil lives, the perfect substitute for all mankind- because He loved us. As Jesus prayed in the garden, sweating drops of blood knowing the sheer horror and anguish he was about to face, He prayed, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.”Luke 22:42

We too, feel like saying this sometimes and maybe even often. Father remove this trial, take away this division, stop this political unrest, bring the rulers under submission to you, deliver us from the evil one, heal our loved one, make a way when we do not see a way, but not our will, yours be done.

The hill to die on for all of us is the same hill Jesus conquered. He was willing to lay down his life for your life and for all those who would believe so that the good news of salvation can go forth. The hill to die on was overcome, death was defeated and the ultimate human trial was triumphed by our savior. As we face the trials, emotions and difficulties this life seems to be bombarding us with we can, with confidence, persevere and walk up the hill.  Jesus the forerunner, our brother, our friend, our savior walked it before us and is eternally residing in His people giving us the strength to do the same. We may be praying “Father remove this cup from me but let us also pray with the same faith ‘not our will but yours be done’. We can assuredly know that the hill we are walking up is not to certain death like Calvary- facing punishment, it is a hill to everlasting eternal paradise with our heavenly Father. Our hill to die on leads us to a perfect, restored heavenly union with our Father and Savior.

Praise Jesus that he did not give up on that hill but that he did the will of the Father so we may have life. He does not want you to give up either. He wants you to push forward no matter how hard it is, to tell others about Jesus, and love as Jesus loved, even if you cannot leave your home or the blankets of your bed, do your best to be a light to someone in your life. Rest in Him and ask him to give you the strength to continue walking up the hill. We have eternal hope to share with the lost world around us. The hill to die on IS the gospel, all other hills pale in comparison. It is the hope of the believer that all may know our blessed Savior. Please know that you may have stopped walking, you may be lying down to rest, you may be crying in a ball wondering if you are going to make it up the hill but our great God is carrying you and sustaining you, and He will lead you and be with you until the end of the age.

Even to your old age I am he, and to gray hairs I will carry you. I have made, and I will bear; I will carry and will save.
Isaiah 46:4

The Lord Bless you and Keep you,

Kara