Upon praying and seeking the Lord more for His wisdom I have realized their needs to be a clarification blog post to my first response. This topic is not an easy one..in my writing I can see that three or four different scenarios became interwoven that should all be taken and responded to separately.
1. I stand firm in the aspect that the Christian community is far too quick to cast stones at the LGBTQ community instead of do as Jesus did and sit with sinners.
This is the portion that I have been guilty of in the past. Too quick to judge because it is an open sin, when in reality many of us find ourselves having struggled in the past with a sin listed in this below Corinthians passage. We tend to want to pull homosexuality out and put it in a tiered category of its own instead of truly seeing souls in need of a Savior we see condemned people with no hope. That could not be further from the truth because through Christ, some of us were these things but have been washed, sanctified, and justified by Jesus Christ and now can inherit the kingdom of heaven. No one living in unrepentant sin with a heart in rebellion to Christ inherits the kingdom of heaven. My disappointment with my brothers and sisters is the response to the LGBTQ community and seeing them as a group of people only destined to hell, as opposed to continuing to read this passage and see they can find hope in Christ. We, as believers, should all the more earnestly be seeking to share the gospel and snatch them out of the fire as it says in the book of Jude. We should not allow the open sin of the individual whether, greed, adultery, lying, stealing, homosexuality, covetousness, drunkenness or any other sin cause us to see a person as irredeemable. Instead we should see them as sheep without a shepherd and be faithful like Jesus, listen to them, sit with them, be willing to have them over our homes for dinner, pray for them and share the love of God with them.
Speaking the truth in love by having a relationship enough with a person to confront them on their sin and need for a savior. The same grace we need is the same we should show. I do not see as much grace within the Christian community as I see unloving responses that isolate the sinner and do not make them feel that Christ or the Christian is gently or lowly in heart and willing to bear their burdens or hear their struggles.
Corinthians 6:9-11 NIV
Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
2. The attendance of a gay or transgender wedding by a parent or family member.
I also stand by saying a parent or grandparent can make clear that they do not agree with the union, that it is unbiblical, and still attend the wedding should they choose. I am sure this decision is not made lightly and is also made with prayer. Many of us are speaking from a place where we have not experienced this but are on the outside giving an opinion. I personally know a few Christian moms of lesbian and/or a transgender child and their partners. In many homes the partner of the child has been to holidays, family gatherings, birthdays etc. and you learn to love the partner as well as your own child despite this lifestyle. These parents do not hide that they do not agree with this lifestyle but they love the sinner and not the sin and do not want to push their child away but want to show the unconditional love God has shown them, in hopes that their child will see their faith in action and word and come to salvation. The love of a parent does not end because the child sins or is living in sin and this includes homosexuality. Just as the love of God does end when we sin. The love and grace of God is extended to us freely as sinners, but for God so loved the world that he sent his son that whoever believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. He never condones our sin. Sin is always a barrier between us and Him.. but Christ, in his mercy calls us to turn away from it and enables us to resist the devil. The parent attending the wedding is hopefully actively praying for this to be true in their child’s life.
I think parents in this situation have a difficult decision to make and I would guess where Alistair (although he has not clarified this yet himself) was coming from was a place of saying it is ok to attend because they know your position and faith and see that want to be there because you love them and the partner without condoning their actions or this union.
3.Does the believing parent/relative/friend attend the gay or transgender wedding in full celebration?
I would say, if you are filled with the Holy Spirit there is no way you can. The wedding would be filled with grief as God says a marriage is between man and woman, but some parents would rather sit with the grief at the union and still be part of a big moment in their child’s life, one they probably looked forward to since they were little, as opposed to saying I love you, and you know I love you, but I simply cannot attend. So I do not think you can attend in a celebratory way as a Christian relative but you could attend because you love and care for the individuals. Just as you may attend your unbelieving heterosexual children’s wedding, that wedding is also one that is filled with grief as a parent when you know neither of them are being married with God at the center. It is a Biblical response to say to the child, I love you, I love your partner, but I do not agree with this union and the Holy Spirit would be grieved if I attend because I truly cannot celebrate this day despite my love for you. I hope as a parent you have shown your love in more ways than just attending or not attending their wedding so they truly do believe you love them.
4. This was the part I prayed the most upon, would Christ himself attend a gay or transgender wedding?
I have come to the prayerful conclusion that he would not. He would and does love the child beforehand and seeks to minister and share hope and truth with them, and this would maintain after the wedding, he would not shun them. But, Christ could not celebrate sin and to be in a place where the majority of ppl involved are celebrating a lie, he would be both grieved and angered. Angered at the stain of sin which has corrupted those he died for. Saddened and grieved at the lies they believe and the identity they have, but do not see. Grieved by his creation, fearfully and wonderfully made, who have not come to Him as Savior but are living lost and in rebellion. I do not think Christ would attend. But, the ‘wedding’ is one day of many and I believe he would eagerly, gently, and with authority pursue their souls before the wedding and after. I believe that as parents of family members who are living this lifestyle it is a correct Biblical response, although a difficult one, for us to not attend since it is Christ in us and no longer we who live. We are called to do as He does and pursue and love the child before and after the ‘wedding’ in hopes to see them come to salvation.
5. In conclusion, (if you are still reading thanks for sticking it out!) I will keep both posts up but ultimately will end up leaving this one since it does not muddle together all the scenarios into one. This is a road as believers we need to travel down both mentally, prayerfully and some of us personally as we make these hard decisions. We need to Seek the Lord’s wisdom first and keep
1 Corinthians in the forefront of our minds when speaking about the LGBTQ community and other people we see living in sin and one another. The love of Christ reflects all of these characteristics of love and in His strength we can too, as we boldly pursue souls for Christ and avoid sitting in pews of piety.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a NIV
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
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